My thought on love

"Look in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, Bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

~Juno

Honestly I think that this is the best piece of advice I have ever got... Even if it was while sitting in my room watching Juno wondering about my relationship... I had to rewind like 17 times and hear it again and again... Its not like B is asking me to change, but maybe I am...

stolen... but i love it as if it were my own words...

"I am me. in all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because i alone chose it — i own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. i own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. i own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. because i own all of me. i can become intimately acquainted with me. by so doing, i can love me and be friendly with all my parts. i know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that i do not know — but as long as i am friendly and loving to myself, i can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. however i look and sound, whatever i say and do, and whatever i think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. if later some parts of how i looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, i can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which i discarded. i can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. i have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. i own me, and therefore, i can engineer me. i am me, and i am okay.”

by VIRGINIA SATIR...

I think i am going to use this for a scrapbook page... oooooooo....

tonight is crafty night :O)

Pics to come...

my so called life...

The funny thing about life to me is that in a blink of an eye you can go from having everything, to having almost nothing...

I will have more thoughts about this when I am able to write...

A Sunday morning list...

All I want is for someone to love me on the days when I cannot love myself….

I met Scott on Thursday, Haven’t herd from him since then… I have mixed emotions with this… Number one he is not really my type, skinny and he has this growth on his head (kinda freaked me out the first time I saw it) But second thought is that I devoted so much time(Verizon loved our relationship) and effort into something, staying up al hours of the nights to keep him company… Hey I guess I can call it my patriotic duty… Talked my self through that one…

I don’t do well with being alone. I especially don’t do well with being alone at night...

I love the Counting Crows…

Driving can be soothing, especially when I’m barefoot… And, to me driving a long distance feels like an accomplishment… I need to do that more…

I hung out with Ricky Friday night (slut I know lol) I really enjoyed being at a bar with a guy, just laughing and kissing… I really enjoy his company… He is so young though… I spent the night with him… It was really nice especially because he wanted to hold me all night long…

I am glad Baseball is back…

I went shopping yesterday and bought really cute shoes that I can’t wait to wear…

I cuss a lot… I need to work on this…

I wish today was a rainy cold day…

I am convinced that the only soul mate I'll ever have is my favorite pair of jeans…

I never think things through & it's worked alright so far…

Ricky texted me “good morning beautiful” and I think it just made my day…

I hate it that I'll never be a teenager again…

I haven’t talked to my sister in 3 weeks…

Speaking of that I think my mom loves my sister more then me…. She will do nothing to my sister to make her upset; however I walk on eggshells all my life around her… What upsets me the most is that my sister can forgive someone who cheated on her twice and not her own flesh and blood who told her to “fuck off”…

Just thinking about my sister makes me so upset…

Quaker mini delights are so yummy. You must try them. 90 calories!! However, three bags of Quaker mini delights in three hours kind of defeats the purpose of the whole 90 calorie thing

really?

just when I thought my "birthday issues" were over... I get a freaking text that made me so unhappy that I was ready to throw my phone across the room... My "best friend" informed me that
1. I am am unhappy person and that i make everyone around me unhappy

2. That she tried to hang out with me on my birthday... Um asking me to sit by the pool not something i wanted to do... spending time with you was what I wanted....

3. Informed me that I was ungreatful to aimee and jess for the dinner and everything they did for me... Jess and Aimee are amazing, dinner was amazing... I felt so special... I really enjoyed my self...

I have really noticed that I don't think of her as a best friend... She is very quick to abandon me when something better comes up... I have always included her in all the acitivites that I have done... So i believe that we are breaking up... lol... I am in the market for a new best friend...

27...

I turned 27 yesterday... And it was the worst day of my life... Never in my life have I felt as alone as I did yesterday... I did nothing all day, never received a call from my father or even as much as a text message from my sister...

I however am not allowing my to fall in the same pattern that I fell in this year... I found that Its too easy for me to play the "why me card"... I have depended on my friends too much too comfort me and hold my hand along the way... I have come to see that this is not the way too go... I only can save myself...

People use January 1st to make new years resolutions... I am not going to be one of those people (mostly because by January 4th people have forgotten all about them) I have never been 27 before and Its a start of a new year for me...

This is my year to shine... I have a job that I love and that makes me very happy... So this year I am all about self discovery...

So tonight I have lit some sage, cleansed my aura, and I am ready to embark the 27th year of my life....

Here are some of my goals this year...
*I am going to write (or at least try) everyday... Just my thoughts, since I am no longer going to vent to my friends, I have hopes that getting them out in this blog will work them out in my head (i hope that makes sense)
*I want to do yoga, work on my breathing...
*Play softball... Some of the best memories of my youth involved softball... and it will be a good work out :O)
*Attend some free classes....
*Take more pictures....
*Go to church... I am not a big fan of organized religion... So i am on a quest to find a church were I feel home... and feel no pressure....
* Hang out with my Aunt Joan and Uncle Tom... They live 15 minutes away... I never see them, and I don't want to regret missing out on any more time with them...
*go to flea markets...
*Loose 40 pounds
*Travel around AZ... By my self... Or in the company of someone who will enjoy it as much as I do...
*Read more... I am currently reading Eat, Pray. Love... It is changing my life...
*Make clothes.... I have always wanted to do this... I have a sewing machine, I am going to use this....

I know where my head is... I am commited to making it right... Doing work... Changing my self...

Here we go.... :O)