quarter life crisis....

It seems to me that I once again started to spiral out of control again… Decisions I made have left me with the feeling of hopelessness that things will never work out… I am not strong… Things that I hoped for things that I wished and believed so strongly that would come true…Have crumpled…
I am exhausted with people… Exhausted with the false positives …
Examples, oh I got them… People telling me what an amazing person I am… Cause I can only think of the negative… "Really you think I am nice?" Then why do my friends think I am a flake… "I am having a bad day, I just feel like chilling"… "Well come out with us we are gonna have so much fun" … Someone explain to me how drinking and going to a club and watching your friends get hit on by everyone while you get pushed aside is helping… Oh here is a good one… when you go out with someone and they can't stop texting someone else… Here is the evil truth… If you want to go out with me have the decency to make me feel like you want to be with me… put your phone down and make me feel like I am important to you…
This past year has put me through relationship hell…
And when I started out writing this blog I had all the intensions of keeping it positive… But people instead of taking ownership of their problems they tend to make them yours… I have a thousand pounds resting on my shoulders… And I am collapsing from with in…
Oh please feet don't fail me now…
So like I said I wanted to keep it positive…Because I like many others have lost hope in relationships,
And even more that true, everlasting, soul mate love...
Today, a little old man, who came into my work, may have made my cold heart warm again and quite possibly renewed my faith. I was helping him out, and he looked at me, and said, "Wanna see a picture of a pretty lady?" I said sure, and he opened his wallet and showed me a black and white picture of a beautiful woman in her fifties or sixties…
It was such a glamorous shot, and I had never realized that it was possible to still be so remarkably beautiful at that age… I asked him if the woman was his wife…
His response "Yes...she's in a nursing home now. I go to visit her every day. Three and a half years, and I've never missed a day..." As if that wasn't sweet enough, when I asked how long they'd been married, to see if maybe it was one of those later-in-life marriages that was still in the puppy love type stage.... Again he looked at me, and said, "58 years today", smiling slightly… I smiled at him and said that his wife was a very lucky woman, and in all seriousness, he looked at me and said, "No...I'm the lucky one she is my everything, my reason for living"

It touched me so much that it made me want to cry…
To see a man so in love with his wife, 58 years later was so wonderful...
I hope I have a love like that someday...I really really do...